Somewhere around late 2022, a lot of professionals woke up, opened ChatGPT, and thought:
“I, too, shall become an AI expert… by Tuesday.”
And just like that, a whole new industry was born.
AI training, delivered by people with roughly the same hands-on experience as a decorative houseplant.
What follows is a light anthropological study of the species that emerged.
1. The Overnight AI Guru
Before November 2022, these people were:
- social media managers
- life coaches
- “business strategists”
- people who posted screenshots of Notion templates
Then one day, ChatGPT wrote a polite poem about their cat, and suddenly they were “AI Transformation Specialists.”
How did they learn?
The same way they teach.
They asked ChatGPT:
“Write me a 90 minute AI workshop explaining how to use AI.”
And just like that, a business model was born.
The operating system:
Prompt → PowerPoint → Invoice → Carousel post → Ebook → Course → Repeat until credibility quietly expires
2. The Traditional Agency That Bolted On “AI”
These agencies used to specialise in:
- rebranding small cafés
- running Instagram accounts
- producing annual reports full of stock photos
Then overnight, they became:
- AI Enablement Labs
- AI Futures Agencies
- AI Innovation Studios
Their websites now include:
- glowing brain hero images
- vague taglines about “reimagining the future”
- service pages with no actual detail
Ask them a technical question and they say:
“That would be phase two.”
There is no phase two.
3. The Big Four and the 87 Slide Masterpiece
Their version of thought leadership includes:
- “AI Will Change Everything”
- AI Readiness Models
- AI Maturity Pyramids
Ask how they have actually implemented AI and you get:
- theoretical case studies
- philosophical commentary
- suggestions that you book another paid discovery phase
4. The Teleprompter Professor
They host AI webinars using:
- teleprompters
- confidently mispronounced terms
- pre-recorded demos
- scripts written by the very AI they are presenting
Ask them anything real and they smile and say:
“Great question. It depends.”
It always depends.
5. The Professional Flip Flopper
Career timeline:
- Social Media Expert
- SEO Expert
- Blockchain Specialist
- Metaverse Architect
- NFT Behavioural Economist
- AI Transformation Pioneer
- AGI Ethicist and Frontier Model Operator
- Quantum Enhanced AI Strategist
- Chief Synthetic Consciousness Evangelist
Projected 2026 job titles:
- Hyperdimensional AI Alchemist
- Quantum Soulframe Architect
- Neural Vortex Integration Strategist
- Director of Multimodal Consciousness Harmonisation
- Senior Holistic Futureflow Prophet
- Founder, Institute for Emergent Interplanetary Personhood
Expected 2026 solutions:
- OmniSentience Activation Framework
- Post Cognitive Workflow Orchestration Engine
- Quantum Adaptive Narrative Recalibration Matrix
- Synthetic Empathy Mining Suite
- Holistic AI Chakra Mapping Tool for Enterprise
- FutureSelf Ascension Accelerator
- Multiverse Go To Market Portal
The Twist
None of these people are what you need.
What you actually need looks painfully boring by comparison:
- real workflow design
- data governance
- proper intake processes
- risk and compliance frameworks
- AI embedded inside real tools
- measurable outcomes
- continuous improvement loops
AI is not a vibe.
It is an operational capability.
The organisations that win will ignore the noise and quietly build systems.
The hype train was always lumpy.
And before anyone gets offended, this is not stones from the sidelines.
I know this world for two reasons.
I have watched it spread across the industry, and I get it, people still have to make a living. The problem is that a lot of the money is coming from organisations who walk away with very little to show for it.
And I have done it too. I have lived the shiny deck, low value delivery life. I am genuinely grateful to have been through value delivery rehab. I am not perfect, but I am much more honest about it now.
We do not sell “AI training programs” or “inspirational sessions” or “revolutionary frameworks.”
We only teach in service of something real: a strategy, a workflow, or a process that actually improves.
It is quiet work.
Calm rooms.
Clear problems.
Checklists that move needles.
No fireworks. No hype circus. Just value.
